The departure of Ameer Vann from popular boyband BROCKHAMPTON two years ago left many fans split on their feelings about the decision — many didn’t think the group could even continue without its lead member. The guys of course eventually overcame that obstacle on their critically-acclaimed album Iridescence released a few months after Ameer’s exit, and Kevin Abstract being promoted to the forefront made for a surprising upgrade as well. However, the loss still affects the group to this day on a personal level, as Kev revealed to Rick Rubin recently during a very extensive interview for the GQ video series “Epic Conversations.” 

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Among the many things Kevin opened up about in his 40+ minute conversation with the legendary producer, his remorse for the way things ended with Ameer definitely stood out the most. Describing it as a moment that “fully f*cked me up,” Kev went on to explain that “fully cutting someone off in front of people, the audience, is just a wild thing — something you think about every single day.” When asked by Rubin if he’d seen Ameer in the time since he was ousted due to sexual misconduct accusations, Kevin said, “We ran into each other somewhere and it was really quick,” adding that the brief encounter was “heartbreaking in a way.” While he admits to missing him, Abstract explains that he doesn’t regret kicking him out and only wishes that they had more time to talk things out. Given their long history as friends even before BROCKHAMPTON officially achieved notoriety, we can totally understand the conflicted feelings here.

Watch Kevin Abstract’s “Epic Conversation” with Rick Rubin for GQ below in its entirety, with the topic on Ameer Vann’s split starting at the 34:00 mark:

The inspiration that Kevin Abstract and his Brockhampton crew pull from Shia LaBeouf can be heard on the group’s latest tape Ginger that arrived last summer. “Just hanging out with him and having conversations helped us to figure out what we wanted to make. One of the first times he came over to hang out with us, after he left, Dom and ‘Bari started like the first three songs that made the album—that same night,” Kevin previously stated about the album.

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New reports now detail that Shia has now been equally inspired by Kevin since the actor is helming a film based on his life. According to The Fader, Shia first spoke of the film coming to life last year and now the script lives on The Black List. The official synopsis reads: “Based on the life of rapper Kevin Abstract, this biographical fiction follows a Texas teen as he struggles with identity, finding meaningful relationships, sexual fluidity, and his direction in life.”

There’s no word on when exactly this film will arrive but considering Shia’s success with his film, Honey Boy that’s based on his upbringing, we look forward to what he can do on film when presenting Kevin’s life to the world.

“He’s such a sweet guy. He’s vulnerable, he’s brave, extremely creative – the best actor we have hands down. He really cares about his craft, cares about music and cares about us as people,” Kevin added of Shia. “He lifts me up man, he does. He’s my mentor big time. I talk to the guy almost every day. He’s made me way more confident – way more.”